There’s a big issue in every place you go that isn’t given much thought or consideration unless you’re in that situation yourself. Hear me out.
Parks and playgrounds aren’t a place with diversity in mind for every child where they can go use the equipment and facilities provided by the council with dignity. Parks can be a stressful place for any kind of family depending on the day and how much the day hasn’t already gone to plan before you visited or how bloody hard it was just to get everyone ready to get out the door to go. Even if its two parents visiting a park with one child you could think that you never bothered at times because of how stressful it can be especially on limited sleep which most parents deal with. For special needs families this is a place that is often avoided because it’s just not a place made with families like ours in mind. Having a family with multiple children with different needs this is avoided completely with all three of my children. I’ve one mobile child who is a runner with no sense of danger, autism, PICA and undiagnosed ADHD, a child that’s in a wheelchair and a typical child with energy like nothing I’ve ever seen. In the city I live in there’s only few pieces of equipment in all the parks put together that my child in a wheelchair can use, and these aren’t even in the same park, they’re in different parks not even close to each other. With a car I’d be 15 minutes apart to use a swing and roundabout for Curly and that’s IF it’s not been vandalised (which isn’t the fault of the council and more the fault of kids thinking they’re cool), needing repairs due to improper use or natural wear and tear. The time it takes for those repairs to be done is insane too. And that’s also IF you have access to a car. I’m not moaning and asking for miracles here. I don’t need fancy lifts or climbing frames that suit a wheelchair; I’m asking for a park for children and adults with special needs where they can go have fun, recieve the stimulation they need and to feel included for two minutes because trust me, once you have disabilities it’s very clear that you’re not treated the same as everyone else. Just one place with a different range of equipment so there’s a range of things for people to use depending on what they like, so it’s only one journey for a family especially if their children all have different needs and for them and even their parents/guardians/carers to feel safe, included and catered for just like the rest of society. Could you imagine this though? It would be used by so many people including organisations, schools, nurseries, residential homes and so much more that would benefit from this.. It would mean that people like our family could have days out together that works and fits everyone’s needs without having to adapt in everything we do. As it stands I can’t take my three children together on a day out to the park and for all of them to feel included. Depending on the park it can be likely that Cassie would have to sit in her wheelchair, left out and just watch her siblings have fun and I’m not putting her through that. She doesn’t deserve to be punished like that. It’s sad but I know fine I’m not alone in this. I could name multiple families that I personally know that go through this feeling like we are failing as parents because that we are the minority that aren’t thought about. If a park installs ONE singular thing for a disabled child to use it’s broadcasted in the papers like they are now gods gift because they granted us one thing. There’s only so many times a child can go round on a roundabout before they spew (Trust me).
It’s excluding one group of people from everyone else, plain and simple. It’s excluding people from using a public space they want to be involved in and is their right to use but can’t because it isn’t worth it and their child wouldn’t feel a benefit from it. It’s like putting a square peg into a round hole. It’s not going to work well is it? It’s a problem and something ends up broken.
Then let’s talk about the necessities that’s needed in a public space like a park. Access to a bathroom for example. Eventually somebody (that’s not always the mum, guilty as charged) will need to use a bathroom. Most parks have toilets for able bodied people or a disabled small toilet and if you’re lucky it might have a baby change unit. Now, tell me how people who aren’t baby sized but have incontinence and need changed lying down or with plenty of space are meant to have a very basic need of dignity met in this situation? They don’t.
When I go out with my older two children who both have special needs I typically have with me a pack of antibacterial wipes for cleaning the floor of a bathroom to then put my coat down for my child to lie on so it’s as hygienic as I can provide right now and adapt to the situation because wherever we are doesn’t have a suitable changing area for them. Typically, most places don’t have a changing room with a hoist which I can understand to an extent, even if it did have a hoist in reality you shouldn’t use one unless you’ve been taught how to otherwise it’s an accident waiting to happen. I’m very lucky to have people around me who can still physically lift and move Cassie to where she needs to be when we go out otherwise, we would never leave the house. I’m very thankful that in my city organisations and charities have fundraised to have changing spaces fit for the disabled with the right equipment in a few places otherwise because it’s given more places for people with disabilities to visit without the worry. Typically, people with special needs have incontinence products on but imagine sitting wet, in a soiled nappy or god forbid a full on poonami that’s on their clothes and/or wheelchair because what are they meant to do? End their day because their basic need for a suitable bathroom isn’t met? Fork out for a taxi, go in the car, get the bus, go to the closest facilities or go home ending their day because they can’t get changed properly and safely? Tell me where there’s dignity, diversity or respect in that because there’s not from where I see it.
Let’s talk cost because in reality that is what this is all about and in a way I get it. Have you ever looked up the prices of any special needs equiptment or anything with the word ‘sensory’ in front of it? If not, do it. Costs a bloody fortune. The chair my daughter sits in alone costs Occupational Therapy (OT) almost 3 grand to provide which to me is insane but I’m forever thankful for the NHS and the fact that Cassie does have these opportunities.
It costs an absolute fortune for playground equipment that passes all the necessary safety checks; that’s made and installed by professionals making sure it has the longest use of life. They don’t cheap out when it comes to these things because they don’t want to pay for constant repairs or replacements. Who does? That would be utterly pointless. If we look at it from a utilitarian point of view then we need to do the greater good for the greater amount of people which is what our councils are doing. But there’s a grey area for the children or adults that need more from them. They feel excluded, not wanted or part of the community because this world doesn’t think of adapting to benefit even more people instead of just the majority. For the councils to be able to meet the needs of these people though that means adjusting budgets, choosing to not have their pay increases or Christmas bonuses that year.
This world isn’t an easy place to be in at the best of times for the typical person, but for the disabled it’s ten times worse. If it’s not exclusion, lack of dignity or the stigma that happens for the disabled it’s the looks on other parents faces when they look down at your child and judge everything you do as if they have the slightest clue. This world needs to do better, and I will not stop fighting until it’s a better place for my children to be. That’s the least they deserve.
Leave a comment